My boy and Halloween

My wife says the story better than I do...

So, to hype my boy up for Halloween my wife and I are telling him made-up, light stories of monsters and the boogie man while we're hanging plastic ghosts on the plants in our front yard. My wife tells him that she's a Werewolf and will turn into one on Halloween - he doesn't show much discern. A little later when she and him are making ghoul garland for the banister to our stairs she tells him that daddy is a Vampire and will turn into one during Halloween and says that "Thank goodness he won't be here so we won't be get bitten by him and turn into a Vampire, too!"...again, he shows no discern. So, after the garland is finished it's time for him to go to bed. He goes upstairs, brushes his teeth and climbs into bed. As 'mommy' is putting him to bed he looks up at her and says in so many words, "So, when I grow up will I be a Werewolf like you or a Vampire like Daddy?".

Little did we know that our joking around now leads my boy to believe that his parents are monsters!

Park51 and the Smoker

After reading all of the controversy behind Park51 I have related this whole situation to that of a smoker. Picture a family in a park having a wonderful day and eating lunch under the sun. A man walks up nearby, sits down and lights up a cigarette down wind from the family...not knowing that the smoke is blowing in their faces. The family asks the gentleman if he can put out his cigarette and the gentleman says politely, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know my smoke was blowing your direction" and the man gets up and moves to a different location because he wants to continue smoking.

I compare this situation to the same situation we're facing at Park51. Manhattan is the park, ground zero is the family eating lunch and the backers to the construction of Park51 are the smokers. The only difference in this scenario is that when the smoker sits down, lights his cigarette and is asked to leave he tells the family he has the right to sit there and there is nothing the family can do about it. Personally, have you ever heard that from someone if you asked them that their smoking bothered you? Probably not.

I'm not concerned of whether it's a right...I'm concerned about the general politeness of human kind within the society of the United States. Our rights and freedoms separate us from the "bad guys", and so does our general politeness and concern for others within our community.

If this kind of thing is happening around the country in regards to building mosques or other Muslim structures I would tend to not agree with this. This incident was centrally focused on New York City and that's where the concern should lie. Additionally, we, as American civilians, should respect each other. One event already occurred and cannot be changed, but the other event can and should be changed. Please, be the polite smoker.

California Judges Ruling - no "Don't ask, don't tell"

I am in complete agreement with Secretary Gates on this issue. The military needs more time to get Soldiers trained before we just jump into this...things like this can't be decided and then acted upon on a whim. This is new ground for the military and an historical event that has never been utilized in our militaries. Personally, it doesn't matter to me whether we have openly gay Soldiers in the military or not. I'm cognoscente to the changes of today and understand certain things will change in my life...this is one of them and my boss, the President, said this is one of the changes. I'm okay with that...but I don't speak for every Soldier out there. I'm an officer and I'm not deployed right now. Here's what I do believe is wrong with this situation.

The "don't ask, don't tell" policy was not created to protect the heterosexuals in the military - let's not forget that. That policy is there strictly to ENSURE THE SAFETY of the homosexual community in the military. My question to beg this California judge would be this: "Have you ever served in a branch of the United States military and, if so, ever deployed to a combat zone where it's a little harder to control the actions of Soldiers who are carrying assault weapons?". I believe this judge is acting blindly without conducting any research before making this activist ruling. To say it's unconstitutional is one thing, to enforce it on the citizens serving in the military without proper education & awareness is putting these citizens at risk.

When this policy is prematurely removed I fear the worst will happen in our military during a crucial time of conflict in countries abroad. Our Soldiers will turn against each other and the focus on fighting will be with each other, not the enemy.

Continuing Medical Treatment

The Landstuhl Orthopedic Department decided to go with Option #1 (read last post) and sent me to the United States for surgery.  On 17 July I was on a plane from Ramstein to Walter Reed Army Medical Center.  I've been at WRAMC now for a week.

The "campus", as it's referred to here, is a very nice facility.  It actually feels like a college campus here...a college campus of medical treatment.  The building structures are very colonial and antiqued on the outside, except for the state-of-the-art gymnasium and the main hospital.  The streets are narrow with slow moving traffic and the sidewalks are continuously congested with wounded warriors that are trying to run their daily lives on their own.  There are always activities on the installation for the wounded warriors and their family members.

The wife and I are staying in a mini-hotel room while I'm currently inprocessing and attending medical appointments.  It's a small room with a shared bathroom, but has all of the amenities of a normal hotel.  It's a nice place to come back to after appointments, formations or meetings to get some sleep - attempting to get back on a normal sleep schedule.  

There is one organizational aspect to the process for Wounded Warriors that I do not like very much even though I know that it is probably necessary to have in order to keep tabs on soldiers.  This aspect that I do not like is the attempt to keep military processes and unit structure within the ranks of the Wounded Warriors.  I am here for medical treatment - to get my body fixed so be on my way to continue my job.  So far, since I have arrived to this installation, I have attended one appointment where I consulted with a doctor.  The rest of my time has been attending unit formations at 0800 and inprocessing the "company" as if I were a permanent party, cadre soldier.  I really just want the medical treatment, the recovery, the physical therapy, and then be kicked out of here to do my job.  I almost have the impression that they are settling me in here for the long hall...I don't want that.  However, I can see how they need the military structure in this medical environment.  There are a LOT of wounded warriors here receiving medical treatment and the cadre need to be able to keep tabs on them, maintain discipline and make the soldiers feel like they are still a part of something.

My next medical consultation is tomorrow (Friday) with the Sports Orthopedics Department.  I'm sure I will have to conduct all of the same painful movement and resistance exercises so he can say he saw the same thing that the past 5 doctors have seen since I left my unit.  Tomorrow; however, should be the day that I find out about surgery on both my arm and shoulder (labrum tear in my shoulder discovered in the MRI from Landstuhl).  The wife and I are keeping our fingers crossed.  She and I have mentioned the word definites a lot in the past week.  We haven't heard any definites from anyone over here as of yet.  We thought we had heard definites in Landstuhl and Baghdad; however, each medical facility has their own opinion.  Landstuhl sent me here for surgery, but Walter Reed may say there is no need for surgery.  There is one thing I can say about the medical care in the Army...the continuity and trust between physicians just plain stinks.  

So, until tomorrow the wife and I will be biting our time finding things to do in the mean time while our son sits in Ohio waiting for his parents to come home.  I still have yet to see the little guy since I've arrived back in the United States.  I'm back in the States but still feel pseudo-deployed...maybe that's why I'm still receiving my combat incentives!

Transitioning

I have gone through many different transitions from the 28th of June to present. Transitions between locations, transitions between way of life, and transitions between environments (both weather and work environments). My first transition was my travel from JSS Loyalty to the 10th CSH at the International Zone on the 28th of June. I had flown by UH-60 from one location to the other in about 5 minutes in the middle of the night. It was then that my life changed drastically.

At JSS Loyalty I was conducted mounted combat patrol operations through some of the worst parts of Baghdad, Iraq and advising Iraqi National Police on a daily basis. I had gone from that fast-paced way of life to then living at a hospital within the International Zone. Normally life at the hospital is a short-lived experience because you get diagnosed and are then on your way either back to your duty location or off to somewhere else for more treatment. Unfortunately for me, when I arrived to the hospital Baghdad had gotten socked in with dust storms for 9 days; preventing me from being able to go anywhere. So, outside of my two doctor appointments, cumulatively accounting for 10 minutes of my stay at the hospital, I was trapped at the hospital without anything to do. My life at the hospital consisted of checking in at the front desk at 0800 and then finding something to do for the rest of the day which either consisted of watching movies in a makeshift movie theater, playing video games, checking my Facebook account on the internet, or calling my wife on the phone. My stress level increased drastically not because of working too hard, but going from working hard to doing absolutely nothing with my day - mindless, boring days. I could hardly stand it! I was finally able to leave the hospital at the International Zone once the weather cleared, but since I needed to go to Germany for an MRI I was on another UH-60 to Balad so I could hop on a fixed-wing aircraft to take us to Germany.

I arrived in Balad on 7 July 2009, once again, in the middle of the night. After arrival and checking I was given Percocet for the pain that I was having in my arm and shoulder. This changed the dynamics of my days greatly as taking this narcotic caused me to become drowsy and incoherent. Although we were only at Balad for one full day before heading to Germany it seemed like eternity at that location. We were not allowed to leave the building we were in except for this little patio on the back of the building if you were a smoker. Needless to say, if I was not sleeping caused by a drug-induced stuper, I was outside smoking under the sunlight and "fresh air". If anything during this deployment has felt like a prison it was this place. That's saying a lot because just being on this deployment feels prison-like. Early in the morning on 9 July 2009 we boarded a C-17 plane headed for Germany.

We arrived in Germany in the late morning on 9 July. We, once again, had to get checked in and attend briefings about all the places that supported us and the routine of events for the Wounded Warriors, which I am now embarrassingly considered. Germany, for all of us, was a big shock to our bodies because when we left Balad it was peaking at 120 degrees during the day; Germany's high thus far has been 65 degrees and rainy. I have been wearing cold weather clothes everyday that I've been here because my body just can't get used to the giant temperature change. At this point in time my mind and body have gotten adjusted to the slow pace of life so I am not nearly as anxious as I was at the hospital in the International Zone. I am living in motel-room style quarters which is a lot more pleasant than the bays of 40 men at the previous locations and my medications were cut in half because of the adverse effects that two percocet every 4 hours was having on my brain. The level of care I'm receiving at Landstuhl is much, much greater than all of the locations previous to this (the previous location's combined consultation, consisting of four different doctors and three different locations, consisted of 10 minutes). Additionally, we are not quite on lockdown at this location. We have formations in the morning and have to sign in at night, but we are allowed passes on the weekends and have opportunities to see the sights of Germany. Yesterday my roommate and I traveled to Frankfurt, Germany to sightsee, shop and eat authentic German food. It was a nice day and we didn't feel like prisoners in our own profession.

The final decision of what will happen with me will be made on Wednesday of this week. There are going to be three options I feel that can be made - 1) Be sent to the United States for surgery and continuing care, 2) Receive surgery here at Landstuhl and THEN get sent home for continuing care or 3) Be told that I don't need surgery and get sent back to theater to finish out my deployment. The hardest of those three is obviously the latter but for different reasons than you might think. It won't be hard to deal with the dust, sand and hot weather...I'm used to that. What will be difficult is readjusting my mind back to the high operational tempo and fast-paced life that comes with combat. I will have been stagnant for three weeks without ever having to worry about work-related tasks. It will be extremely difficult to get back into the mindset needed for combat operations. We will see what happens when that time comes.

Update 12DEC2008

Thought I would send an update to let everyone know how things are going over here. Things here are busy as usual, although today was pretty slow. We didn't go anywhere - just vehicle maintenance. These MRAPs are hard to maintain because there are so many moving parts to them. It's almost as bad as maintenance on a helicopter!
There was a big 5 day holiday here for the Iraqi's this week so not much occurred during the week. There was some violence but there's always violence. For the most part, though, there were a lot of Iraqi's drunk in the streets at night and, during the day, most of them were sleeping their hangovers off. Believe it or not, they party hardy over here!
The big thing I wanted to talk about was how fast this deployment seems to be moving along. We are already 3/4 through this deployment and it seems like I haven't been here that long. I think it's because we have a lot more here - more MWR (Morale Welfare and Recreation) assets here like internet in our rooms, movie nights, ping pong, and other stuff to eat up time. The missions are also more frequent this rotation. In Aviation we have to get so much rest before we fly next, on the ground that goes completely out the window. We're always doing something so there isn't as much down time as usual (for me). Guys will start going on leave soon and that will make things go by even more fast! In a bigger unit leave doesn't mean much because there are some many other guys, but on an 11-man team one guy gone is highly noticeable!
I haven't gotten too sick over here. Not like the last time anyway. I have managed to keep my weight on and keep my strength. I had the sniffles a few times but that's only because of the temperature changes we're going through right now. The temps get down pretty low at night here - at least compared to the daytime temps we get. The temp could drop 40 degrees in 45 minutes and then the body goes through a temp shock because it happens too quick. Some of the other guys have gotten stomach viruses and I haven't gotten any of that too bad so I'm very thankful. Some guys even had to get stuck (IV) to get fluids replenished in their system! That was me the last deployment!
One thing that I'm noticing is that my body isn't what it used to be. I'm feeling very much mortal on this deployment. My back reminds me of it daily. I think those 1400 hours of flying helicopters has taken a toll on my back...and I'm not even done flying in my career! This body armor that I wear here is about 35-40 pounds with my weapons attached and all of my ammo. That's definitely taking a toll on my back. All of the aches and pains go away quickly though. Today we had a "day off" to do maintenance and already my back doesn't hurt, but when we go out on missions and come back a few muscle relaxers help a bunch!
I'm still doped up on caffeine and I still smoke - it's too hard to quit those vices when you're constantly busy and require constant alertness. I would rather keep these vices and come home alive rather than the opposite. I'll think about quitting those vices after I get home and settle back into family life. Could be a good plan for the wife and me.
Alright, just wanted to check in and let everyone know that I'm still here and doing fine. Busy, but fine. Hope everything back on the home front is going good.

-Happy Holidays to everyone!

A Day on the FOB

Today we didn't go on a mission or go anywhere outside the FOB...come to think of it we didn't do anything yesterday either. It's really weird the mindset you get in when on a combat deployment. It's much safer on the FOB and less stress, but I would rather go out on a mission any day of the week as opposed to staying on the FOB. It's all about making time go by faster. When you're sitting on the FOB there is really nothing to do so time just snails by and it seems like entire week went by...but it was just one day. I would rather it feel like a day went by, but rather it was an entire week.
Lets see, today I sat around my bunk and did absolutely nothing. I did things, but they were small things to just eat up time. I cleaned my weapons, reorganized my body armor components, cleaned my bunk area, meandered through the FOB PX to better organize my Go Bag, played a little bit of PSP, and then talked with my family as they are in Cleveland for one of Justin's hockey tournaments. Other than talking with my family everything I did was to bite some time off the day to get it over quicker.
I actually like leaving the gate in a Mounted Combat Patrol (MCP) to go somewhere and do something. There is self-worth to it and you feel as though you are doing something over here rather than rotting on a bunk - equivalent to sitting in jail cell bunk waiting for chow time to get out of the cell and go somewhere within the confines to eat and socialize. There is also an undescribable adrenaline rush when you go out of the gate and into the 'combat zone'. You get all suited up like a roman warrior preparing for battle, you load ammo in your weapons for anything that might happen on the mission and your senses are heightened because you're constantly looking for something on the side of the road or on rooftops that may be of danger to you and your crew. I love that feeling. Most people do if they experience it just once in their life. I don't care who you are, it's a feeling that is undescribable yet something that you look forward to.
So, it'll be nice when we go outside the gate next because it'll make time go by faster and get me moving again. I know my family doesn't like to hear that, but I feel as though they understand it in some strange way.
Until tomorrow....